Still Holding Out for You
by FleurHartz
Summary: Ron and Hermione are both graduated from Hogwarts and happily married. But when a tragic accident ruins everything, Hermione reflects on all she's lost. Very sad, just a little stand alone songfic before I finish Star Crossed. I hope everyone likes it, R/


A/N- Ya'll have no idea how long I have wanted to put this as a R/H fic, ever since the first time I heard it. I LOVE SheDaisy, and thought this would make a very cool songfic. I hope ya'll like it. Warning: this will be a Kleenex fic. (A fic actually made me cry once. I was shocked, I hardly ever cry at that sort of thing.)  
  
Still Holding Out For You  
  
A twenty-three year old Hermione Granger walked down the hallway of their new home. She saw her husband, Ron Weasley, sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee and reading the Daily Prophet. He saw her, and got up, kissing her on the cheek.  
"Morning, sweetheart."  
She smiled at him.  
"Morning."   
"So, ready for work?"  
"I can't wait! I'm so glad we both got jobs at the Ministry!"  
"I just can't believe you've got accepted as the chief researcher of the entire department!" He smiled at her proudly.  
"What can I say?" She shrugged playfully.  
She looked at what her husband was wearing.  
"Is there a reason you're still in your pajamas?" She asked, raising her eyebrows.  
"I'll be ready in ten minutes." He said sheepishly, dashing off.  
Hermione rolled her eyes, smiling despite herself. She couldn't believe how happy she was. She was married to the man she had loved for years, had just gotten a prime position in the Ministry, and she and Ron were planning on having children soon. Everything was so wonderful, she thought she might be dreaming.  
In the next ten minutes, Ron came back in his work robes, smiling.  
"How do I look?" He asked.  
"Great. Except for your terrible case of bed head. Come here--" Hermione laughed as Ron walked over, a bit of hair sticking out in the back. She lovingly smoothed it down, kissing him on the forehead when she finished.  
"Much better."  
"Thanks. Well-I guess it's off to the Ministry then." Ron went to get his coat from the closet.  
"I don't really think you need that. It's still blazing hot outside." Hermione looked out the window, sunlight streaming in.  
"Yeah, I suppose you're right." Ron hung his coat on a hook by the door.  
They both headed for the door, when suddenly Hermione clapped a hand to her forehead.  
"Damn! I forgot my papers I had prepared for today!"  
Ron looked back at her.  
"I think I'm going to head on out. It will take you ages to find all those papers, and I cannot be late today."  
Hermione looked a little hurt.  
"I'll just be a second."  
"I'm sorry, sweetheart. But I absolutely can't be late for my first day. You understand, don't you?" Ron started to head for the door.  
"Of course. You go ahead, I'll see you after work." Hermione knew she was just stressed because of her first day on the job, and was determined not to take it out on Ron.   
"All right, I'll see tonight. Love you." Ron called over his shoulder, closing the door behind him.  
Hermione just nodded distractedly. Ron said that he loved her so often she sometimes took it for granted. She said it too, of course. But Ron never failed to say that as he was leaving to go somewhere or before he went to sleep at night. It was one of her favorite things about him.  
As Ron had predicted, it did take Hermione awhile to find her papers. She checked her watch, sighed heavily, and raced towards the garage. Climbing into her car, Hermione quickly pulled out and headed off to work.  
She reached her office, and was immediately regarded with respect. She was the youngest person to ever head up the research department, and she felt very pleased with herself.  
As she was finishing up the last bit of paperwork she had to do before lunch break, her phone rang. She picked it up, putting on her best professional voice.  
"Hello, this is Hermione Weasley."  
"Hello, Mrs. Weasley. This is Dr. Roberts from the Everwood Wizardry Hospital. You'll want to come down here immediately."  
"W-Why?" Hermione said, barely holding onto the phone her hand was shaking so hard.  
"Your husband, Ron Weasley, has just been in a car wreck. He's in intensive care now. The rest of his family's just arrived, and they said he'd want to see you more than anyone."  
"All right. Thank you." Hermione said numbly, setting the phone back in the receiver.  
It took her a moment to react. Her eyes filled with tears and her heart heavy with worry, she raced down to her car, speeding off to Everwood Hospital, as the name read to the Muggle world.  
~*~  
As soon as Hermione entered the intensive care wing, she spotted all of the Weasleys immediately. They were pretty hard to miss. She hadn't seen them but a few times since she and Ron's wedding, and she had to admit, they were her greatest comfort right now.  
Fred and his wife Angelina looked sick with worry. George was holding his son while his wife, a woman he had met after Hogwarts, sat in a chair, her head in her hands. Percy and Penelope had all of their six kids with them, and Penelope was trying to console her husband as he paced madly around the wing. Bill, Charlie and both their significant others were there as well, standing solemnly in a corner. Harry and Ginny, who had gotten married right after Ron and Hermione, stood next to each other, Harry with his arms around a sobbing Ginny. Their daughter sat in Mrs. Weasley's lap, looking confused. Mr and Mrs. Weasley both sat in silence, their eyes red and full of tears. Mr. Weasley held Mrs. Weasley's hand, attempting to comfort her. They all looked up when Hermione entered.  
"Thank God you're here!" Mrs. Weasley cried, giving Alia, Harry and Ginny's daughter, to Harry and throwing her arms around Hermione as she got up.  
"Is he-what happened?" Hermione said, wiping the tears that were falling down her cheeks, as she hugged everyone there in turn.  
"Apparently, he was going over to a coffee shop to pick up lunch. Some idiot ran a light, and hit him head-on. We were lucky he survived at all." Ginny explained, her voice choking as she started crying harder.  
Hermione closed her eyes.  
"I know exactly where he was going. O'Connels Coffee Shop. We went there almost every day, looking through the paper for job opportunities. He was probably going there to pick us up something." Hermione suddenly broke down completely, her whole body shaking with sobs.  
Dr. Roberts stepped out from the room Ron was in. No one was allowed in yet, about four different doctors were desperately trying to keep him alive.  
"You're the Weasley family right?"  
"Right. How's Ron?" George asked anxiously.  
Dr. Roberts looked down for a moment at his charts.  
"I'm sorry to inform you, but he's really not doing well. I feel like I should always be honest with the patient's family, and I should tell all of you that he'll probably die within the next hour. We've tried many potions and cures, and anything we can think of it, and our best doctors are working on it. But I'm afraid he's just too far gone. I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell all of you." Dr. Roberts said sympathetically.  
Hermione slumped against the wall, sinking to the floor. She was crying so hard, she couldn't even really focus on anything. She couldn't believe that Ron, her Ron, was dying. And there was absolutely nothing that could be done.  
Dr. Roberts looked sadly at all of them, then stepping back into the room.   
Hermione couldn't even hear all the rest of the Weasleys crying. All she felt were her own tears sliding down her face, and a distinct feeling that a part of her was gone. Ron Weasley, the boy she had grown up with and the boy she had grown to love more than anyone else in the world, even when they were teenagers. The man who never failed to make her smile, and feel like the happiest person alive.The man she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with. They were supposed to have kids, supposed to grow old together. But now-she might never even see him again.   
  
*Never thought I'd be in this place  
It's someone else's life I'm living  
Wish I were living a lie*  
  
"This isn't happening." She said through her tears, closing her eyes and praying she was dreaming, some awful nightmare that she would wake up from and see Ron sleeping by her side. She thought back to this morning, and cried harder. Why hadn't she said that she loved him? If only she could go back, change things. But now there were no second chances. She wanted to go home tonight, and have him welcome her with a kiss and she would say she loved him. She might never see Ron Weasley again. Never feel his kiss. Never laugh the way he made her laugh. Never see the smile that he seemed to have only for her. She buried her head in her arms, feeling as if her world was falling apart.   
  
*The hardest part is when the bough breaks  
Falling down & then forgiving  
You didn't kiss me good-bye  
I'm choking on the words I didn't get to say  
& pray I get the chance one day*  
  
All the doctors had done their best. They had tried everything in the power. But this patient had breathed his last, flatlining with the morbid buzzing of the monitor that every doctor dreaded hearing.  
"Time of death, 2:03 p.m. Patient's name: Ronald Arthur Weasley." Dr. Roberts said solemnly.  
"Who should tell the family?" A female surgeon asked.  
"I'll do it." Dr. Roberts volunteered, knowing that this was the worst task any doctor ever has to perform. Telling the family that a loved one has died.  
He stepped outside, all the Weasleys looking up expectantly, hoping, praying for good news.  
"I'm so sorry. There was nothing else we could do. May I offer my deepest sympathies for your loss."  
Mrs. Weasley and Ginny started crying hysterically. Fred and George looked too in shock to react. Penelope and Percy hugged each other tightly, both crying. The children to sob as well. Even though Alia was an infant, she seemed to sense what was going on, and started screaming. Harry held his daughter close, collapsing into a chair as silent tears fell down his face. But Hermione almost couldn't react. She felt hollow, empty. She looked around at all the tear-streaked faces surrounding her. But she couldn't help thinking, "At least they still have the person they love with them. Ron should be here, comforting me, telling me everything's all right. But now, I'm the one who's all alone." Tears still streaming down her face, Hermione got up as in a trance. She said good-bye to everyone around her, and walked off. Her legs barely supported her. She was shaking. She suddenly felt nauseous. Ducking into a bathroom, Hermione retched, holding her hair back. As her eyes closed, memories flooded through her brain like a movie on fast-forward. All the moments she and Ron had shared. When she finished, she walked outside to her car, her whole body numb. She almost couldn't feel every emotion coursing through her. She drove home, and it seemed like the longest drive of her life. Entering their home, she and Ron's home, a fresh wave of tears surfaced and Hermione fell onto their newly bought couch, covering her eyes with her hand. She remembered picking out this couch with him. Ron had thought it was perfect, and she had complained of how it didn't match anything else in the house. But she had grown to love it, and they had spent many happy times there together, talking and watching the television, which Hermione had insisted on buying, even though Ron still barely knew how to use it. She was supposed to teach him to use the VCR this weekend. She cried harder as she realized she'd never get the chance. It was nearly impossible to fathom the idea that Ron was never coming back.   
  
*I still run  
I still swing open the door  
I still think you'll be there like before  
Doesn't anybody out there know to never come around  
Some things a heart won't listen to   
I'm still holding out for you*  
  
Hermione hadn't even realized she had fallen asleep. But when she dreamed, Ron was the only face she saw. She dreamt of the very first time he had said he loved her, when they were seventeen, and sitting in front of the fire. It was pitch-black in the room except for the slowly dying flames, and she and Ron had been talking about something, something insignificant. They had been dating ever since the end of their sixth year, but Ron had never told her he loved her. That night, when she was going on about something that was going on at Hogwarts, Ron had suddenly taken her by the shoulders, looked her straight in the eye and said,   
"You know what? I love you, Hermione Granger." Just out of the blue. Rash, unexpected, like most everything Ron did.  
And Hermione had said she loved him back. After they kissed, Ron had put his arm around her, smiling widely. She had leaned up against his chest, and they just stayed like that for ages. Hermione remembered the steady feeling of his chest rising and falling, and she remembered never feeling happier or more content than she did at that moment.  
  
*I can hear you smile in the dark  
I can even feel you breathing   
When the daylight chases the ghost*  
  
Hermione woke up the next morning, weak sun streaming in through the window. Storm clouds hovered overhead, it looked like a storm was coming. Hermione got up, calling,  
"Ron! Honey, wake up!" She walked towards their bedroom, and only when she saw it was empty did she remember what had happened yesterday. She let out a cry of grief.  
She saw Ron's blue pinstripe pajamas laying wrinkled on the floor. Picking up the shirt, she hugged it to her, crying into it. Everything in this room reminded her of him. She had to get out of here, get out of this house. As she walked towards the front door, she saw his coat still hanging on the hook. Hermione fell to her knees, crying like a little girl.  
  
*I see your coat & I fall apart  
To those hints of you I'm clinging  
Now's when I need them most*  
  
~*~  
It had been a month since Ron's death. Hermione had gone back to work of course, and started talking to Ginny once a week on the phone. It had been one of the only ways she had gotten through everything. She had gone few a few weeks of such depression she didn't know what to do. He had always been such an integral part of her life, it felt strange to do anything without Ron there. But she knew that he wouldn't have wanted her to just stay at home and cry. He would have wanted her to be happy. That's why she had tried to go back to her life, even though she would never be as happy as she was when he was with her. No one could ever replace him.  
  
*I should get up, dry my eyes & move ahead  
At least that's what you would have said*  
  
~*~  
Now, a year after Ron's death, Hermione was living by herself in a flat. She had sold their house, she just couldn't stand to stay there. She had a great job in the Ministry, had made great friends with the girl that lived across the hall from her and saw Harry and Ginny at least once a month. She had stopped seeing them quite as often, though. Everytime she did, she was reminded of their time at Hogwarts. The times when Ron was still there with her.  
Hermione had been asked on dates many times since she had moved into the flat. There was a perfectly nice man who obviously liked her who worked in her department. But she just wasn't ready yet. Somewhere, in her heart, she still hadn't quite moved past Ron's death. It was almost as if she expected him to still be there sometimes. Once she called their home number at work on a Saturday, and the answering machine would picked up with the voice of the family who had bought the house from her. A happily married couple with two great kids. When she heard the answering machine, it was almost like getting hit with a cold reality. Ron was really gone. And he was never coming back.  
  
*I still run  
I still swing open the door  
I still think you'll be there like before  
Doesn't anybody out there know to never come around  
some things a heart won't listen to I'm still holding out for you*  
  
Hermione dreamed of Ron almost every night in that year after his death. It was her constant source of comfort, to see his face, hear his laughter, even if it was just in her dreams. Hermione knew that she would move ahead with her life eventually. But some part of her would always be holding out for the first man she had ever really loved. Hermione opened her eyes, looking up at the ceiling. Blinking back her tears, she knew that she would never forget Ron Weasley.  
  
*Faithfully, I trace your name while you sleep  
It's the only true comfort I feel  
I still run  
I still swing open the door  
I still think you'll be there like before  
I still run   
I still swing open the door  
I still think you'll be there like before  
Doesn't everybody out there know to never come around  
Some things a heart won't listin to  
I'm still holding out for you  
Holding out for you*  
  
A/N- Wow. That was SAD to write. Good grief, I'm getting all emotional! Well, anyway, I hope all of you liked this. Please review, I know this isn't the next part of Star Crossed, it's just a stand-alone I've been wanting to write for some time now. And yes, I know someone else did this song as an H/H, (and she did a really good job!) but I promise that I'm not copying her, I got the idea for this fic the first time I heard this song. Anyway, I hope everyone liked it. Much love to all of you, please review! The next part of Star Crossed will be coming soon!  
  



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